Remembering My Friend and Teammate Mike

I was reminded of the fragility of life when I received the awful and shocking news that Dr. Mike Eilers, one of the dentists from our Cambodian mission, died this morning of a heart attack. His wife, Mary Kay, who also served with us, told me via email, and asked me to pass along the news to the rest of our team. As I read the words it seemed like the room began to spin, and I had to re-read the email several more times before it sunk in what her words meant.

I only knew and spent time with Mike for two weeks of my life, but I am deeply saddened by his death. When you serve a mission like this, it's hard to describe how close you become to your teammates. You are very far from home, in a third world country, doing emotionally and physically hard work. Your teammates become your best friends and your family. You are literally together all day, everyday, under extreme and unique conditions. Those kind of conditions create bonds that you don't have in ordinary friendships.

I liked Mike right from the start. He was a tall, handsome man with a huge smile and a gentle spirit. It goes without saying that he was kind, generous, and selfless, because no one would spend their own time and money to work in an orphanage under less than desirable conditions if they weren't. To paint a more accurate picture of Mike for those of you never having the honor of knowing him, I am sharing a recent email he sent me. After our mission in Cambodia, Mike, Mary Kay, and Dave and Pat (also from our team), traveled onto Vietnam:

Hi Jessie,
Mary K and I, along with Dave and Pat, are now home and recovered from our jet lag. Our 12 days in Vietnam were fabulous and again we found a really interesting culture and wonderful people. Vietnam is light years ahead of Cambodia in development and is truly an emerging market to be reckoned with. We stayed in very nice hotels and had excellent English speaking guides the whole time. We visited Hu an, Hue, Hanoi, Sapa and had an overnight cruise on Ha long bay. Our favorite area may have been Sapa where we did some hikes into some remote villages to see different ethnic mountain people. They all had different customs and colorful tribal dress. You would have gone nuts with your camera. We talked with many people who lost friends and family in the Vietnam war. Without question the people hold no grudge against Americans. We scratched our heads many times on our trip wondering why we went to war against this faraway land.
We so enjoyed our trip to SE Asia, but far and away the best part of it all was working with you and the rest of our team in Banteay Meanchay. I close my eyes and think of those wonderful little kids all the time. This experience has had a tremendous effect on both of us. Our 2nd day back in Portland we went to our grandson's basketball games. It seemed almost surreal watching their games in a nice well lit gym with polished hardwood floors, uniforms, new basketball shoes and referees. I kept thinking about the dirt playground, bare feet, no toys or athletic equipment, but smiling faces all around. We have to say, it's been a little adjustment coming home.
Jessie, we tuned into your "that girl ain't right" blog and truly enjoyed your assessment of our time working together. You really nailed it. You have talent as a writer as well as being a terrific photographer. The story of the monk could be published. Laos? Righttt.
I'm sure your reunion with your family was special. We are so fortunate to be living where we are.
Please stay in touch.
The best to you and your family,
Mike and Mary K


Mike was fun. We had a great time on the mission. I remember we'd see something crazy, like a family of five on a motorcycle, or an unmanned alligator farm, or rats being barbecued on the railroad tracks, and Mike would shake his head, laugh, and say, "You can't make this stuff up!!" Then he always follow that with, "Jessie, do you think if you told your friends back home about this, they'd even believe you?"

I have so many great memories of Mike. Each one brings tears to my eyes, but also makes me laugh. One day he told all of us about how he called down to the front desk of our hotel to have a pot of tea sent up to their room for Mary Kay. But the Cambodian gal was having a hard time understanding what he was asking for, due to her limited English. "Can I have a pot of tea sent to my room?" he asked.
"Excuse me sir? No understand."
"A pot of tea."
"Oh, yes. You want to party?"
Then Mike cracks up laughing as he tells us the story and says he almost said, "I'd love to party. But it's only ten in the morning."

I became very emotional the last two days of the trip with all of the saying goodbye we had to do. We left the orphanage, then we lost the dental students...then Franklin left to travel on to see his family...then we lost our team coordinator, Jock, when he headed back to Phnom Penh...I cried as I watched our team shrink when members peeled off like layers. I remember wishing we could get the goodbyes over with at the same time, so I wasn't always bawling and embarrassing myself. I remember telling Mike I felt stupid for being such a big old baby. I was touched by his reassuring words. "You're not a baby, Jessie," he said in his always-kind tone of voice. "You're crying because you care."

The morning I had to leave for the airport and tell the rest of the team goodbye, I remember we were sitting around the table, eating breakfast poolside in the warm morning air. I was really trying to hold it together as the time I had to leave grew near. We were sitting there chatting and eating when there was a long pause in the conversation. Then Mike said, "I'll miss ya, Jess." With that, tears sprang to my eyes as I laughed. "I promised myself I wouldn't cry, Mike!!"

I am thankful to God that I had the opportunity to see Mike one last time when we were honored by the CACO three weeks ago. As we said goodbye, we talked about serving another mission. We ended it with, "I'll go if you go!"

I am closing this post with some pictures of my dear friend, along with a few that Dave sent me from their time together in Vietnam.

I'll miss ya, Mike.