The first being the horrible exhaustion brought on by flying half way around the world, combined with, obviously, the time change, and add that to a schedule packed to the gills- Let's go have lunch! Now let's go set up the clinic! Let's go see the stupa! Now let's go shopping at the market! By the end each day I've been stumbling back to my room, eyes all bloodshot with barely enough energy to find my bed.
Another force keeping me from my blog is something load shedding. Here in Kathmandu (or as I like to call it, "The Kat") electricity is a precious commodity. Feel free to point your finger at global warming and overpopulation. I sound like the liberal that I am when I say that, but it's true. Nepalese rely on hydroelectric power. There is less snowfall in the Himalaya, therefore less water moving through the dam to generate power. When you add that to extreme population growth here in the city, you're left with not enough power to go around. So they ration it and call it load shedding. Twice in a 24 hour period, they shut off electricity for several hours at a time. The power-less hours are never the same from day to day, either. To come home from the clinic to have no wi-fi to blog and a laptop that needs to be charged... it's just been to easy to put it off another day.
The last, and biggest reason for not blogging is that I have been really, really homesick. I've never been good at hiding my feelings or sounding chipper when I'm not, and I was afraid if I sat down to blog all my fingers would type out would be a plea for someone to get me out of here.
I am feeling better now.
But it was really hard at first. If you followed my last mission you may remember I turn into a big crying snot ball when I am overly tired (not unlike a toddler). I was sorta beating myself up for not loving it here the second I stepped off the plane. I had a knot in my stomach for all the money I'd spent to be here only to be miserable. I wasn't able to look at the poverty around me and see all my blessings. No matter how hard I searched, I couldn't find the high I felt in Cambodia. I didn't immediately fit in with my team and I was lonely. I sat on my bed and cried more than once.
Depression sometimes sneaks into my life. That's just how God made me. The PMS monster wasn't help much either.
Now before my mom's protection mechanism goes into overdrive and books me a flight home, I am happy to say my sadness has lifted. I have made good friends and have realized they days are flying by. I reminded myself that the only one in charge of my world is me so I turned on some Jim Croce, drew back the curtains, and said to myself, Dude.......You're in Nepal.
